D.VICE Advice live 10.30pm Saturday nights on KiwiFM with Angelina (KiwiFM) & Ema (D.VICE)
A stimulating half hour discussion about sex, tips, sex toys, giveaways and answers to your questions about sex techniques, sexuality, sex toys and sex realted problems.
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I have looked high and low on the internet for answers to my problem but apparently no one else has it. My husband never initiates, we have been together seven years and maybe a few times in that period he has verbally suggested sex but he always expects his foreplay first and most of the time seems to begrudgingly deliver mine in an unsatisfactory hand straight "down" approach that all women know hurts if your not ready. then I am always left to choose the position for intercourse. Oh, and it always has to be at night and in bed when a lot of the time I feel like it during the afternoon or when I see him when he gets home.
I have told him this many times but he doesn't then try to be different, almost like if he does it different it will be because I told him to. I do like us to each get a "turn" at foreplay to relax and enjoy but I also want shared foreplay where we both just enjoy touching each other at the same time. We also have an 8 month old who was delivered Spencer forceps style and I had an episotomy which has left me feeling uncomfortably tight and initial entry is painful whether really wet or not. This has me worrying ahead of time taking away the pleasure of foreplay for me with nerves about what comes next.
Advice grrl answered:I have told him this many times but he doesn't then try to be different, almost like if he does it different it will be because I told him to. I do like us to each get a "turn" at foreplay to relax and enjoy but I also want shared foreplay where we both just enjoy touching each other at the same time. We also have an 8 month old who was delivered Spencer forceps style and I had an episotomy which has left me feeling uncomfortably tight and initial entry is painful whether really wet or not. This has me worrying ahead of time taking away the pleasure of foreplay for me with nerves about what comes next.
Dear Sigh
Please do not feel you are alone, this is not an uncommon issue particularly in long term relationships.
For some couples, or for one of the partners when the first flush of lust wears off sex can become routine.
It sounds like you have been communicating this to your partner which is a great start, difficult if he is not willing or able to respond as you would like.
I wonder if you are able to encourage him to talk about what he would like to do that would be different and for you both to plan some adventures. Sex Toys can also be a way to introduce a different element into your lovemaking.
Ready erotic stories or watching erotic/sexual movies can heat things up and introduce new ideas.
There are some products such as Virilina that can give guys a libido lift as well as a healthy diet and exercise. A man's mojo can be affected by age, stress, fitness and diet.
Failing that you can seek therapy through a sex therapist, which can help you both to express what is happening and give you strategies for dealing with it.
Regarding your surgery I would recommend doing a Google search on the topic to see what other women have to say. They are bound to have some suggestions. Again using a smaller softer toy with your partner may help stimulate the tissue and muscles, without the discomfort. Definitely use a lubricant all the time as this will reduce friction.
Please do not feel you are alone, this is not an uncommon issue particularly in long term relationships.
For some couples, or for one of the partners when the first flush of lust wears off sex can become routine.
It sounds like you have been communicating this to your partner which is a great start, difficult if he is not willing or able to respond as you would like.
I wonder if you are able to encourage him to talk about what he would like to do that would be different and for you both to plan some adventures. Sex Toys can also be a way to introduce a different element into your lovemaking.
Ready erotic stories or watching erotic/sexual movies can heat things up and introduce new ideas.
There are some products such as Virilina that can give guys a libido lift as well as a healthy diet and exercise. A man's mojo can be affected by age, stress, fitness and diet.
Failing that you can seek therapy through a sex therapist, which can help you both to express what is happening and give you strategies for dealing with it.
Regarding your surgery I would recommend doing a Google search on the topic to see what other women have to say. They are bound to have some suggestions. Again using a smaller softer toy with your partner may help stimulate the tissue and muscles, without the discomfort. Definitely use a lubricant all the time as this will reduce friction.
why does anal sex hurt so bad and will it affect my ass
Advice grrl answered:Dear Mrs. Ross
I would suggest you check out the Anal Sex information in the Sex Info section of our website first. It will provide you with the necessary information to enjoy anal sex without suffering any pain.
You don't mention if you are using a lubricant - this will definitley help to make it less painful! I would recommend you invest in a top quality lubricant such as Probe Silky Light or Lubexxx. It might also help to try out something small like one of our silicone dildos, like the smooth Siren, or the ridged Sweetie.
Also you don't mention if your partner is being gentle with you and are you communicating with him/her properly? They may not even realise they are inflicting pain on you.
It is necessary to be well informed on the best practices for anal sex which in turn will ensure you have pleasurable trouble free experience. We stock a fabulous book called The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women which is a great read.
I would suggest you check out the Anal Sex information in the Sex Info section of our website first. It will provide you with the necessary information to enjoy anal sex without suffering any pain.
You don't mention if you are using a lubricant - this will definitley help to make it less painful! I would recommend you invest in a top quality lubricant such as Probe Silky Light or Lubexxx. It might also help to try out something small like one of our silicone dildos, like the smooth Siren, or the ridged Sweetie.
Also you don't mention if your partner is being gentle with you and are you communicating with him/her properly? They may not even realise they are inflicting pain on you.
It is necessary to be well informed on the best practices for anal sex which in turn will ensure you have pleasurable trouble free experience. We stock a fabulous book called The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women which is a great read.
why do men wake up with an erection
Advice grrl answered:Dear taz
It is a spontaneous occurence of penile erection, termed nocturnal tumescence, which occurs during sleep without any sexual stimulation. All men who are physically able to obtain an erection, do so in their sleep, sometimes several time a night.
It typically happens during REM sleep and it is not uncommon for a man to have an erection when he wakes up. So its a perfectly normal and natural occurance and of course gives you the opportunity to start the day off in a pleasurable way!
It is a spontaneous occurence of penile erection, termed nocturnal tumescence, which occurs during sleep without any sexual stimulation. All men who are physically able to obtain an erection, do so in their sleep, sometimes several time a night.
It typically happens during REM sleep and it is not uncommon for a man to have an erection when he wakes up. So its a perfectly normal and natural occurance and of course gives you the opportunity to start the day off in a pleasurable way!
what household items can you stick in your pussy?
Advice grrl answered:Dear jessy
Why don't you check out the Sex Info section of our website for some good information and invest in some good quality toys which have been specifically designed for sexual use. We definitely wouldn't recommend you use household objects for this purpose.
Why don't you check out the Sex Info section of our website for some good information and invest in some good quality toys which have been specifically designed for sexual use. We definitely wouldn't recommend you use household objects for this purpose.
Hi.. Me and my Mistress have just signed a contract whereby my body is hers for the next two months. She has given me explicit instructions on toys to purchase and one that has been hard to find info on would be a butt plug that can stay in during the day.. is there anything like this available and where can i source one?? Thanks and what a great site..
Advice grrl answered:Hi Elf
The Pearl buttplug would be your best bet and sure to fulfill all requirements for both you and your mistress... Enjoy!
The Pearl buttplug would be your best bet and sure to fulfill all requirements for both you and your mistress... Enjoy!
My Wife likes to watch women on women, But finds most DVD's out there are to hard core. Do you have a recommendation for a more sensual women on women porn DVD
answered:Dear KG
We are searching for good quality DVD's and have not yet found a good range that we can sell. Keep cehcking out the site as we will post them when we find them.
Best we can do is lesbian erotica which is great. Check out the book section.
We are searching for good quality DVD's and have not yet found a good range that we can sell. Keep cehcking out the site as we will post them when we find them.
Best we can do is lesbian erotica which is great. Check out the book section.
what will come up on my credit card statement if I order something?
Advice grrl answered:Dear ss
D.VICE is our business trading name, when you use a credit card to purchase from us LLM Ltd is the name that appears on your bank statement.
You can use a credit card with us in person at our stores, over the telephone, by mail order or over the internet through our website www.dvice.co.nz. Go to our Contact Us section for all the information you need.
Happy purchasing!
D.VICE is our business trading name, when you use a credit card to purchase from us LLM Ltd is the name that appears on your bank statement.
You can use a credit card with us in person at our stores, over the telephone, by mail order or over the internet through our website www.dvice.co.nz. Go to our Contact Us section for all the information you need.
Happy purchasing!
I am 17 years old and am really interested in buying a vibrator but do you need to be 18 to buy one over the internet?
Advice grrl answered:Hello Ashie
We do have an R18 requirement for web purchasing. If are able to purchase from an actual store if they do not have an R18 restriction.
We do have an R18 requirement for web purchasing. If are able to purchase from an actual store if they do not have an R18 restriction.
I had anal sex and my boyfriend came on me? Can I still get pregnant?
answered:Dear Sandy
You can only get pregnant from sperm entering the vagina. sperm are quite active and can swim from around the vaginal opening, so if any sperm escapes the anus it could have a not very good chance of entering the vagina.
If your boyfriend came on the outside of your body and away from the vagina also not likely for you to get pregnant.
We recommend using a condom for anal sex generally as it prevents bacteria from the anus being passed for example to the vagina.
If you are cncerned about pregnancy, your chemist can sell you a prenancy kit.
Condoms and lubricant are an easy and inexpensive way of keeping safe.
You can only get pregnant from sperm entering the vagina. sperm are quite active and can swim from around the vaginal opening, so if any sperm escapes the anus it could have a not very good chance of entering the vagina.
If your boyfriend came on the outside of your body and away from the vagina also not likely for you to get pregnant.
We recommend using a condom for anal sex generally as it prevents bacteria from the anus being passed for example to the vagina.
If you are cncerned about pregnancy, your chemist can sell you a prenancy kit.
Condoms and lubricant are an easy and inexpensive way of keeping safe.
I would like to try an anal orgasm; however, my wife is against all anal play. I have tried many times to give my self an anal orgasm, but I can not. I have tried many things in my ass but never experenced an orgasm. what area do I need to stimulate to give myself an anal orgasm.
answered:Dear Bob
The anus does have many sensitive nerve endings and can be very pleasurable. For many men stimulating the prostate gland through the anal wall can bring intense orgasmic sensation. The prostate is about 7cm inside the anus, toward the bellybutton.
A few basics first. Always use plenty of lubricant, the anus is not naturally lubricated and friction can cause tearing of the sensitive anal wall.
Anything that you insert in the anus must have a base larger than the part that is inserted to ensure it does not get sucked up by the powerful sphincter muscles.
Use a toy that can be easly cleaned, is strong and flexible with no sharp edges.
We recommend silicone buttplugs or silicone dildos.Start small and work your way up. Cleaning is essential so that you do not retain any harmful bacteria on you anal toy.
If you need to help the muscles relax so you can insert a toy, try using Innuendo which is a very effective gel that can make anal play a lot more comfortable.
I would recommend reading the anal play section under sex info on this website.
If you do have a silicone dildo or buttplug, put plenty of waterbased lube on it, then insert the toy, allowing time for the muscles to relax, experiment with sensation, do you like the feeling of fullness, or do you like movement in and out. You can work out what does it for you.
It may take a few different positions and angles for you to find out what brings you to orgasm, that is half the fun! You can also stimulate the penis during anal play.
If you are looking for more information there is an excellent book called "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men" that is very popular and has some helpful diagrams. This is available on this site.
Have fun experimenting!
The anus does have many sensitive nerve endings and can be very pleasurable. For many men stimulating the prostate gland through the anal wall can bring intense orgasmic sensation. The prostate is about 7cm inside the anus, toward the bellybutton.
A few basics first. Always use plenty of lubricant, the anus is not naturally lubricated and friction can cause tearing of the sensitive anal wall.
Anything that you insert in the anus must have a base larger than the part that is inserted to ensure it does not get sucked up by the powerful sphincter muscles.
Use a toy that can be easly cleaned, is strong and flexible with no sharp edges.
We recommend silicone buttplugs or silicone dildos.Start small and work your way up. Cleaning is essential so that you do not retain any harmful bacteria on you anal toy.
If you need to help the muscles relax so you can insert a toy, try using Innuendo which is a very effective gel that can make anal play a lot more comfortable.
I would recommend reading the anal play section under sex info on this website.
If you do have a silicone dildo or buttplug, put plenty of waterbased lube on it, then insert the toy, allowing time for the muscles to relax, experiment with sensation, do you like the feeling of fullness, or do you like movement in and out. You can work out what does it for you.
It may take a few different positions and angles for you to find out what brings you to orgasm, that is half the fun! You can also stimulate the penis during anal play.
If you are looking for more information there is an excellent book called "The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men" that is very popular and has some helpful diagrams. This is available on this site.
Have fun experimenting!
yea hi well basically i have 2 questons number one is when me and my boyfriend go to have sex i am always the one to have an orgasm first and so quickly and that was never the case before weve been together for 2 years and recently thats been my problem? also question 2 my bofriend of 2 years has a very big size penis and well i cheated on him recently and i was with a man with a much smaller penis then him and the feeling was not the same at all i didnt even have an orgasm as fast as i would with my bf and well now i feel like my bf and our relationship is soon to be over and i am thinking if i am with another man its not gona be the same feeling that i had for 2 years ever again cuz if iam with someone knew there penis will not be able to satisfy me as far as size goes so basically is there anything i can do to make it that i can be with any man and be aroused or did i just screw up myself in the first place 2 whole years ago
answered:Dear Diamond
Many woman can have multiple orgasms, though not all of them realise this, so reaching orgasm before your boyfriend may not be such a problem as you can, with a bit of practise, cum again. We have a clitoral arousal gel Purr that some women find makes it easier to be multi-orgasmic.
I menton Purr Clit Gel also as you may find it helpful being orgasmic regardless of the size of your partner's penis.
It could be that the way you and your current boyfriend's have sex, stimulates you in a particular way, that brings you to orgasm quickly, maybe his penis rubs against your clitoris, if you can figure out what it is that works, you maybe able to do this with future partners if your relationship ends.
A lot of women are able to orgasm with clitoral stimulation as well as penetration, which you can show a guy how to do, and you can use vibrators during sex as well.
The more you know and understand your own body, the better you will be able to tell any guy you have sex with, how you like it and what brings you to orgasm.
As long as any boyfriend you might have is into giving you pleasure and perhaps learning a few new tricks, you will have a great sex life.
Good communication and good sexual chemistry can work just as well as a large penis.
Many woman can have multiple orgasms, though not all of them realise this, so reaching orgasm before your boyfriend may not be such a problem as you can, with a bit of practise, cum again. We have a clitoral arousal gel Purr that some women find makes it easier to be multi-orgasmic.
I menton Purr Clit Gel also as you may find it helpful being orgasmic regardless of the size of your partner's penis.
It could be that the way you and your current boyfriend's have sex, stimulates you in a particular way, that brings you to orgasm quickly, maybe his penis rubs against your clitoris, if you can figure out what it is that works, you maybe able to do this with future partners if your relationship ends.
A lot of women are able to orgasm with clitoral stimulation as well as penetration, which you can show a guy how to do, and you can use vibrators during sex as well.
The more you know and understand your own body, the better you will be able to tell any guy you have sex with, how you like it and what brings you to orgasm.
As long as any boyfriend you might have is into giving you pleasure and perhaps learning a few new tricks, you will have a great sex life.
Good communication and good sexual chemistry can work just as well as a large penis.
Is it possible that a man can desire a woman to use a dildo on him and not be homosexual or bisexual
Advice grrl answered:Dear Cocoa
Oh most definitely! If you click on the Sex Info tab on our home page, then click on Anal Sex on the right side of the page, you will find a lot of in-depth (pardon the pun) information.
For some good reading, I would suggest .
Oh most definitely! If you click on the Sex Info tab on our home page, then click on Anal Sex on the right side of the page, you will find a lot of in-depth (pardon the pun) information.
For some good reading, I would suggest .
Iwould like to have harder and erection and i am diabetic
is there some thing natural to take
Advice grrl answered:is there some thing natural to take
Dear ivanhoe
I would suggest that you check out www.diabetes.org.nz and click on the 'mens sexual health' section on the right hand side of the page.
There is a lot of information there that should be of some help...
Good luck!
I would suggest that you check out www.diabetes.org.nz and click on the 'mens sexual health' section on the right hand side of the page.
There is a lot of information there that should be of some help...
Good luck!
My girlfriend and I are beginning to experiment with dildos and were wondering if there are any services or kits out there that would allow us to make one based on a mold of my penis?
answered:Dear David
We do have an easy moulding solution however only availble through our Australian company that have just arrived in. Best you email them at info@dvice.com.au as the products are not online yet.
They can help you out.
Otherwise we have a great selection of realistic silicone dildo's which you can check out on the site and sstrap on harnesses as well.
Have fun!
We do have an easy moulding solution however only availble through our Australian company that have just arrived in. Best you email them at info@dvice.com.au as the products are not online yet.
They can help you out.
Otherwise we have a great selection of realistic silicone dildo's which you can check out on the site and sstrap on harnesses as well.
Have fun!
Hi, i'm 25 , male, i enjoy using dildos and but plugs, i really like to use much biger & wider dildos then what i'm using now! is there any way that i could stretch my anus more & more?
thanks.
Advice grrl answered:thanks.
Dear martin
We have some really great silicone anal toys, check out the Pearl, it is recommended for the more experienced player, it has deliciously voluptuous curves and if you really enjoy a challenge, give it a try.
If you are wanting to use a lighter lubricant for more sensation, Probe Silky Light would be the deal, but if you want something a little more substantial, then the Probe Thick Rich would be a better option.
For further reading on anal sex, you couldn't go past The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men, jam packed full of good information and diagrams.
We have some really great silicone anal toys, check out the Pearl, it is recommended for the more experienced player, it has deliciously voluptuous curves and if you really enjoy a challenge, give it a try.
If you are wanting to use a lighter lubricant for more sensation, Probe Silky Light would be the deal, but if you want something a little more substantial, then the Probe Thick Rich would be a better option.
For further reading on anal sex, you couldn't go past The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men, jam packed full of good information and diagrams.
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