D.VICE Sex Q & A. How can I delay Orgasm with Sex Toys?

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How can I slow down orgasm when masturbating with sex toys?

Question

I have a boy overseas and don't get to see him for a few months so it's up to me to enjoy myself until then. I tend to orgasm really quickly when I use a toy. I am worried that I am almost training myself to orgasm too fast so when I see my boyfriend I won't be able to last as long. Is this something that can happen from using toys? Or is this some technique I can try to make the orgasm last longer?

D.VICE Sexpert Answers

You can definitely enhance your orgasmic response from using sex toys, as to how it would affect your response with a partner would depend entirely on the people involved and what you do together!
The stimulation that sex toys provides often tends to be much more intense than what a person can usually deliver (depending on the toy and the person of course), so generally speaking it won’t affect the speed of your orgasm with your boyfriend.

However, if you are finding that you are reaching orgasm quicker than you would like, either with your partner or with a toy, there are several things you can do to slow yourself down.
For starters you can literally slow it down, either the movement or the speed that the toy is set at.
Practice backing off as you near orgasm and keeping yourself on the brink (this is also known as edging). This is a great way to learn all the steps in your orgasmic response and will be very handy while having sex with your boyfriend as you will know when to back off, or change the type of stimulation.
For example, if you’re finding that clitoral stimulation is getting you there too quickly you can try switching to a position, such as doggy style, that doesn’t provide direct clitoral contact. It also teaches your body to slow down, build stamina and enjoy the journey to orgasm.
You could also try using a different toy, or only using your one(s) you currently use at a much lower setting than usual.
Try changing up the way you masturbate, if you usually do it lying on your back and focusing on just your clitoris, you could try sitting up or standing and play around more with the entire pubic region.
The clitoris is a much larger organ than the little nub we all tend to focus on, so you may find it pleasurable to use your toy internally, on your labia or around your anus.


The great thing about women’s bodies is that they are designed to keep going after orgasm, and to enjoy yet more pleasure.
You may find that you are ultra-sensitive after an orgasm and that any strong stimulation is too much for you to handle, that’s ok, just back off a wee bit, try and keep up with a bit of light stimulation if you can or change up what you’re doing completely.
This is something you can practice on your own, see what works for you, and what doesn’t, and see if you can train your body to accept and enjoy stimulation after orgasm or be able to experience another orgasm.

Women can actually learn to become multi orgasmic by practising ongoing stimulation after your first orgasm. Experiment with building yourself up to orgasm again and again, experimenting with different types of stimulation, including your G-Spot, also try a bit of Purr Gel after your first orgasm, it’s fantastic! Women tend to have a longer plateau phase of orgasm (the time when you are really aroused and turned on prior to orgasm). While it can be very pleasurable to luxuriate in the phase, being able to shorten it and then orgasm again and again can feel amazing.


Basically as women we have unlimited orgasmic potential and experimenting with different techniques and forms of stimulation is not only fun but can expand your pleasure potential. You may want to spend time focusing on G-Spot stimulation, and learning how to ejaculate or learning to orgasm through anal play.

There are many fantastic toys you can incorporate into your experimentation, two great toys for G-Spot stimulation are the Lelo Gigi or Mona 2 and the Trumpeter Swan which both offer wonderful vibration, or for a nice rigid G-Spot toy without the vibrations I would recommend the Glass G-Spot Double Ended Dildo.

Butt plugs and anal beads can be a great way to add a little anal play to your lovemaking as the anus is rich in nerve-endings and can be highly pleasurable, try a Pendant Butt Plug or the Fun Factory Flexi Felix Anal Beads.


The great thing is that there is basically a never-ending list of different types of stimulation you can try to switch things up, play around with and use to expand your sexual potential.

For example some women can orgasm from nipple play alone, you could try some nipple clamps or shields (Purr Gel also works wonders on nipples)

Blindfolds can be great for sensory deprivation, you take away one of your senses to make the others stronger, which can be a great way to play around with new sensations and figure out what really gets you going and where all your hot spots are.
As with anything sexual, take your time, listen to your body and experiment to find to what works best for you.


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