D.VICE Sex Q & A. My husband of many years wants to experience anal penetration, how do I start?

Posted by D.VICE Sexpert on

My husband has brought up the idea of wanting to experience anal sex...him not me. I am not totally closed to the idea but have no idea where to begin.

I have been married nearly 20 years and have had a reasonably active if somewhat conventional sex life. Recently we have been watching a bit swinger porn and saw some girl on guy strap-on sex.  I have tried talking to a couple of close girlfriends, but they think he must be secretly gay. They don't get that he wants me to do him, not another man. Can you help me to get started?

D.VICE Sexpert Answers

How great that you are open to your husband's request and that you have the type of relationship where you can discuss and fulfill this desire.

For men and women, there are a lot of nerve endings in the anal area that when stimulated can be very pleasurable.

Men have the added advantage of the prostate, which when massaged or milked, can lead to orgasm without the penis being touched! Check out the various blog articles on prostate massage.

Anal sex can be sensational, it is also a bit more technical than other sexual techniques and it is good to be aware of what to expect. 

A common concern for those new to anal is the poo factor. It can be a bit messy or unpleasant for the giver and the receiver can be self conscious. So evacuating the bowels prior to anal sex is key.
This may be something you can easily manage, depending on your digestive system, or you may like to try douching or gently rinsing the rectum prior to a sex session.
Have non latex gloves, a couple of old towels, wet wipes or paper towels on hand, along with a small rubbish bag so nothing is a problem to deal with.

Lube, lube and more lube can be the difference between a good time and a bad time. Have a good, hypoallergenic lube, so there is little risk of a sensitivity to the lube which can avoid the ring of fire...It is good to have a sense of humour about it all to. I recommend Probe water-based lube or Pjur backdoor anal comfort lube.

Good anal sex can be a work in progress, things may not go according to plan so knowing when to stop and try again another day is a good option.

Anal penetration can be surprisingly emotional for some men. It may be the first time he has not been sexually in control of himself or the situation, be prepared for happy tears.

We recommend starting with something small, before strapping it on. A silicone butt plug, such as Jewel, can be a great starting toy or a small vibrating butt plug, then work your way up to dildo's and strap-ons.

The D.VICE made range of strap-ons are comfortable, easy to use and designed to fit all shapes and sizes. The silicone dildos are made from medical grade silicone and are super hygienic and easy to clean -which is important.

Have fun and enjoy this new sexual adventure. You may find it brings a new level of intimacy to your relationship.

There are a selection of anal and prostate articles on the blog, you and/or your husband may like to read to give you more information about anal pleasure, strap-on sex, and anal sex.




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