Oral sex

Both men and women enjoy the sensations and intimacy of oral sex. Oral stimulation can be combined with penetration or it can be the main event. Practise makes perfect with oral stimulation, and here are some tricks, tips and techniques as well as resources to increase your pleasure and confidence.

In this section we deal with Cunnilingus (going down on a woman), Fellatio (going down on a man) and Rimming (pleasuring the anal area...orally). To have your questions answered OR to listen to a half hour recorded radio show dealing with a wide range of sex topics (updated weekly), head to D.VICE Advice/

Cunnilingus - going down on a woman

  • Oral stimulation of the clitoris and vulva using the tongue & lips.
  • Oral sex is the most preferred form of sexual stimulation for women - in recent surveys 75% - 96% of women said it was their favourite!
  • Cunnilingus is also reportedly the form of sexual stimulation that many women say they want more of.
  • Why perform cunnilingus on a woman?

    • The clitoris contains 8000 nerve endings!
    • Many women are able to easily orgasm from oral stimulation.
    • Women are now able to be more assertive sexually and ask for their partner to stimulate them orally.Cunnilingus is not just foreplay but can be the main course!
    • Many men and women find performing cunnilingus on a women extremely arousing.
    • A common myth...

      • Women taste like fish! Women taste slightly sweet, pungent and musky. If the ph of the vagina is out of balance this will affect a women's taste. Food & drink affect how a women tastes – avoid coffee, beer garlic and spicy foods!

      10 tips to become a cunnilingus expert/

      • Ask her what kind of oral stimulation she likes//.
      • Make sure you're in a comfortable position//.Don't rush – and enjoy yourself!
      • Start with light pressure and use lots of saliva to keep the area lubricated. The clitoris is extremely sensitive. Check in with her to see if you've got the pressure she likes//.
      • Begin with licking the inner & outer labia –experiment with different strokes and see what she responds to – then move to the clit hood. Often a side-to-side tongue movement is the most effective//. be creative with different strokes and combinations!
      • The secret is to find what she likes and focus consistently and rhythmically on that movement//.
      • Often a woman will guide you with hands on your shoulders or head//.You will know a women is about to orgasm by her breathing, her body tensing, she may buck or grind her pelvis, the clitoris may retract towards the pubic bone explaining why she may like more pressure.Most women like stimulation right up to orgasm and some like it to go on during and after orgasm.Often women will enjoy penetration at the same time as being stimulated orally. This can be done with the fingers, vibrator or dildo//. and often nipple stimulation at the same time as oral sex feels great.

        Oral Play Positions

        • Classic –women on her back.
        • Sitting on your face.69.Sideways – using women's thigh as a pillow – great for pregnant women.From behind – great for access and sensation.

          Safe Oral Sex

          • Cunnilingus is safer than unprotected vaginal or anal penetration or fellatio but still risk involved especially if a women is menstruating and if you have cuts or sores on your lips or mouth. Herpes and genital warts can be transmitted during oral sex.
          • Communicate with your partner to assess the risk.For casual sex always use a latex barrier, such as a dam.Use lube underneath a dam for greater sensation.

            Advanced Oral Sex Techniques

            • Pressure points to increase sexual energy – three points long top of pubic mound
            • Pressure points to heighten sensitivity – three points inside of upper thigh – crease where thigh meets body
            • Pressure points to enhance orgasm – point on perineum Heat or cold
            • Use a hot or cold drink to change the temperature of your mouth
            • Ice can be very arousing

              Good resources and products to learn from and use for better Cunnilingus

            • Expert Guide to Oral Sex/Cunnilingus (How To DVD). This is real people having real sex, with instruction! Hot & sexy as well as informative you can view same sex and opposite sex couples working on their technique to give her mind blowing oral pleasure (R18)
            • Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus (book). This is a great resource in easy to read format with basic illustrations. this is not a picture book.
            • Purr Clitoral Arosual Gel is a vasodilator and draws the blood to the clitoris, speeding up sexual arousal for women. It can be used for any kind of sex and is fine to get in the mouth (it is pretty much tasteless and is natural)/ Purr Gel is very popular and effective.Dams are a latex barrier that prevent actual contact whilst still maintaining sensation. Like a condom in a sheet form and flavoured. Important to use as a safe sex device.

              Fellatio - Giving head, blow job, oral sex given to a man

              • Oral stimulation, or fellating of the penis. Also often if your partner is wearing a dildo it can be arousing to suck the dildo.
              • Many men enjoy receiving oral sex but in recent surveys only 25% of women enjoy giving fellatio//.

                Myths about Fellatio

                • Fellatio is a degrading thing to do.
                • Society often judges women who give fellatio.That a penis is dirty particularly if uncircumcised. Of course for both men and women it's preferable to have excellent personal hygiene. Often incorporating a shower into your love making is a great idea.

                  Common concerns about Fellatio

                  • Guys are often concerned about their penis size and shape – they come in all shapes and sizes//.
                  • Guys are often concerned about how they'll taste and the amount of semen they produce. Avoid spicy foods, pepper and salt, coffee and alcohol and garlic – they make semen taste bitter. Eating neutral foods is a good idea and cinnamon will give a sweet taste. Most men ejaculate 1-2 teaspoonfuls//.

                    Women are often concerned

                    • That they'll gag.
                    • That a guy will hold her head or force his penis into her mouth. If you're worried about this, ask your partner to avoid touching your head so you remain in control.

                      Become a fellatio expert...

                      • Enjoy giving your man pleasure via oral sex. Many women are very aroused by stimulating their man orally. Practice your technique on a vibrator or dildo.
                      • Ask your lover what kind of stimulation he likes.Make sure you're in a comfortable position.Lubricant can be used to aid sensation. We recommend PROBE or Astroglide – avoid baby oil! Cold pressed sweet almond oil can be used. If you're using a condom, put it on with your mouth.Experiment with different techniques. Hold the penis at the base and run your tongue up and down the shaft. Some guys like stimulation of the balls and perineum.Some men like stimulation of the head although for many guys it's too sensitive.Take the whole penis in your mouth and run your mouth up and down – technically this is called fellating. If you're worried about the length of his penis, hold the base with your hand so you control how much you suck. Alternate hand stimulation with oral.Guys love to watch fellatio and find it hugely arousing – don't be self-conscious, and make eye contact!
                      • When a man is about to orgasm his erection will become harder and start to spasm. This is the time to increase speed and pressure.
                      • Some guys love anal stimulation of the g-spot whilst being fellated.To spit or swallow – it's a good idea to decide beforehand what you'll choose to do when your partner orgasms. Many women like to swallow their partner's semen. Others prefer to use a condom or to withdraw the penis and complete fellatio using your hand. If you are going to spit out the semen do it discreetly into a tissue

                      The gag reflex

                      • When something touches the back of the throat it's a natural response to gag. This is the body's natural protection mechanism.
                      • Often during fellatio the penis will touch the back of the throat and you may feel the gag reflex.If you do gag – relax. Take a few breaths and swallow, then resume.Breath whilst going down – it helps!
                      • Hold the base in your hand so you control how deep he goes.
                      • Experiment with different angles.Practice on a dildo or even a vegetable so you get used to the sensation

                      Deep throating

                      • This is taking the whole length of the penis into the mouth and throat by actually swallowing. It takes practice and you have to be able to overcome the gag reflex.
                      • Choose a position where his penis is pointing down your throat not at the top of your mouth.Breath out just before taking the penis in, and in when it comes out

                      Safe sex

                      • Both giving and receiving fellatio can be high risk for some STD's, particularly herpes, gonorrhea syphilis and hepatitis B.
                      • Communicate with your partner to assess risk.To be totally safe use a condom (latex or non latex). Often a flavoured condom is the most pleasant

                      Good resources and products to learn from and use for better Fellatio

                      • Expert Guide to Oral Sex/Fellatio (How To DVD). This video shows real sex, with an instructor supervising! Hot & sexy as well as informative you can view same sex and opposite sex couples working on their technique to give him mind blowing blow jobs.
                      • Ultimate Guide to Fellatio (book)/ This is a great resource in easy to read format with basic illustrations. (This is not a picture book) and is an excellent guide to help you improve your technique.Condoms are an excellent choice if you need to keep yourself safe during oral play. STD's diseases can be transmitted during oral sex, cold sores can be contracted or can pass on the Herpes virus and cut gums (from something as simple as brushing your teeth) can make you vunerable to the spread of blood contact STD's such as HIV. Condoms come in many shapes, textures and flavours.Tune In to D.VICE Advice or download the radio shows as a podcast. Choose the topic that most interests you. Topics are updated weekly. Here you can also write in with sex related questions and get them answered.


                        Rimming - Oral stimulation of the anus and perineum

                        • Can be very stimulating for both women and men.
                        • There is a concentration of pleasurable nerve endings here.Experiment with different techniques
                        • Is fairly high risk in regards to STD's - use a dam or cut open a glove.
                        • Avoid moving from the anus to vagina when rimming a women, as bacteria from the anus going into the vagina can cause infections
                        • Can be combined with penetration of the vagina for a woman and can be a great way to relax the sphincter muscles prior to anal pnetration for both men and women.
                        • Good resources and products to learn from and use for better Anal Rimming

                          • Expert Guide to Anal Sex (How To DVD). This video shows real people having real anal sex, with an instructor supervising,and covers all things anal including rimming, playing with sex toys and anal penetration. This DVD is sexy and stimulating/
                          • Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men or Anal Sex for Woman (book). These are great resources in easy to read format with basic illustrations. (They are not picture books). Either book really covers both men and women so depending on your gender and your sexuality, you only need purchase one!
                          • Tune In to D.VICE Advice or download the radio shows as a podcast. Choose the topic that most interests you. Topics are updated weekly. At D.VICE Advice you can also write in with sex related questions and get them answered.

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