Anal pleasuring can add a whole new level of sexual pleasure and intensity to your lovemaking. Both women and men can experience orgasmic anal sensation, and for men, the male g-spot - massage of the prostate, can result in mind blowing orgasms. Good technique and using many of the sensational quality sex gear now available can transform anal your sex life.
Anal play is regarded as one of the most taboo areas of sexual activity and is an area that is not often discussed. There are many misconceptions and myths in our society about anal sex and consequently it is often hard to get access to clear comprehensive information. There are still some countries where anal sex between consenting adults is illegal...
Pleasurable anal sex has been enjoyed between couples for centuries and the health benefits of practicing anal sex are recognized in many Eastern cultures. We find anal sex is a topic that people often ask about and a lot of people tell us that they have experienced anal sex in a negative way. This is often because people do not have good information about how to have pleasurable anal sex.
Both men and women of all sexualities can enjoy and get a lot of pleasure from anal play. Many men are reluctant to discuss, try or admit that they enjoy anal sex for fear of being mistaken as gay. Statistically, most research reveals that about 30% of married couples in Western cultures are experimenting with anal play or regularly incorporate anal play into their sex life. In Australasia that equates to many hundreds of thousands of couples.
Common myths and misconceptions about anal sex
- Anal sex is unnatural or immoral. Sex is an adult's opportunity for play and intimacy. There are many areas of the body that are sensitive to touch and stimulation and the anal area is one of them. This area for both women and men is rich in nerve endings and for men the male g-spot is accessed anally.
- Anal sex is painful. Anal sex is not painful if it is practiced with clear, communication, lubricant and correct technique. Indeed it is usually highly pleasurable.
- Anal sex is dirty. Because the rectum is our body's channel of elimination, it is assumed that anal sex is dirty and messy. The body actually empties the rectum with elimination and there are some basic ways to ensure anal sex is clean and hygienic.
- Anal sex is physically harmful or dangerous. In fact practicing safe anal sex can enhance anal health.
- Only gay men have anal sex and that if a straight man is interested in anal sex it means he's gay. This is an assumption based on a mainstream cultural belief that 'real' sex must involve vaginal intercourse. In fact many gay men do not engage in anal sex and a huge number of heterosexual men enjoy receiving and giving anal sex.
Is anal sex pleasurable for women and for men?
The anal area is a highly erogenous zone for both women and men, and is rich with nerve endings. This makes it sensitive to both touch and stimulation. The rectum is elastic and can relax and stretch with stimulation. For men, stimulation of the prostate gland can be sensational - this is known as the male G-spot. It is important to be aware of the receptive person's pleasure when practicing anal sex. It is important that you trust the person you are making love with and that there is clear communication between you.
For many people the fact that anal play is regarded as a so called 'forbidden practice' makes it all the more erotically charged.
External stimulation can be pleasurable on the perineum and around the anal opening. Penetration may be pleasurable with the fingers, a butt plug, dildo, vibrator or a penis.
Anal stimulation is often pleasurable when incorporated with other forms of sex such as oral sex and many women enjoy double penetration.
If you find it difficult to relax and enjoy anal pleasure, we recommend using Innuendo, a natural and effective muscle relaxant for anal play. This is used in conjunction with lubricant (not as an alternative) and is suitable for both women and men to use.
Basic rules for anal sex
- Communicate - talk about introducing anal play into your lovemaking.
- Make sure it is something you both choose to do and discuss any fears or concerns.
- Make sure the receptive partner has been to the toilet beforehand.
- Always use plenty of water-based lubricant, as the anal area is not self-lubricating.
- Start with either fingers or a small silicone butt plug. Wear latex gloves and keep nails short. Any sex toy that is used anally needs to have a flared base so that part of the toy remains outside the body at all times. Use condoms on toys for ease of cleaning and smoothness.
- Never go from anal to vaginal sex without changing the condom or washing the sex toy.
- Stimulate the external anal area with lubricant to relax the muscles.
- When you begin to penetrate, the two sphincter muscles will contract. Penetrate a few centimetres then wait for the muscles to relax for about 10-30 seconds. Repeat slowly. If the muscles tense up, wait for them to relax again. Check in with your partner and if they experience any pain stop and wait for the muscles to relax.
- Make sure you allow time for anal play - it is not generally an activity you do quickly.
Sex toys for anal play
- A buttplug is a toy that is designed to be gently inserted into the anus to give a full sensation. It has an oval or flared base to sit between the buttocks. A buttpug feels pleasurable to have inserted while you are being pleasured in other ways. They come in many different shapes and sizes. We recommend silicone as it is totally non-porous and safe and suitable for both women and men to use. Buttplugs are also made from vinyl, acrylic and stainless steel.
- Some vibrators can be used anally, they MUST have a flared base to prevent them from being pulled into anus. Vibration can feel incredible on the nerve endings and can be great for relaxing the anal muscles. Remember to use a condom for easy clean.
- Silicone dildos are popular for anal play as they can be hand held or strapped on with a strap-on harness. Many dildo/harness customers are heterosexual couples, often they intend that she will be strapping it on to pleasure him. They are also ideal for girl on girl/lesbian sex.
- The Share or Feeldoe is a double dildo where one end is held inside the vagina with the longer shaft used for penetration of a male or female partner. This enables the wearer to stay connected to your lover during penetration (either anal or vaginal). These double dildos are made from skin friendly silicone and come in a range of graduated shaft sizes for the beginner up to experienced players. The Share and Feeldoe make excellent hand driven dildos and are great for spa and water play.
- Glass buttplugs and glass dildos. Glass sex toys are sensational, hygenic and if designed with a flared base, can be safe for anal pleasuring. Glass toys are shatterproof, easy to clean and can be heated and cooled for extra stimulation.
- Anal beads are a string of beads that often graduate in size. We recommend silicone as it is a soft material. Gently insert each bead into the anus/ These are designed to be pulled out at the point of orgasm. This feels great! The pelvic floor muscles contract during orgasm and they run in a figure 8 around the anus so this will increase the intensity of the orgasm AND contraction of the pelvic floor muscles.Prostate Massagers for men come as both vibrating and non vibrating options. Some massage both the prostate and perineum, the command centres for pleasure for men, resulting in rock hard erections, mindblowing orgasms and adding another whole dimension to male pleasure and
Prostate Massage and the Male G-Spot
- The Male G-Spot or P-Spot, is actually the simulation of the prostate gland through the anal wall. This alone or combined with perineum stimulation can result in mind blowing orgasms for men as well as hard erections. Some men can orgasm without the penis even being touched! A fantastic range of Prostate Massagers are now available for men, and there is a growing body of research to indicate that regular prostate massage (milking the prostate) is good for men's prostate health... and it feels great. For more information, tips and tricks on Male G-Spot pleasures you can tune into and download D.VICE Advice or Sex Info/The G-Spot or watch and learn with the hugely popular Expert Guide to Anal Sex DVD... real people have real anal sex under instruction!
It is important to make sure that your intestines are healthy and that you have regular bowel movements. Your rectum will usually totally empty with each bowel movement.
If you have eaten strawberries, berries or any foods with small seeds such as poppy or sesame, engaging in anal sex may irritate the bowl. Allow 36-48 hours before anal play in this instance.
It is advisable to wash outside the anal area externally prior to anal play.
It is not necessary to wash internally, although some people may prefer to have an anal douche. There are enema kits available to do this which cleanse the rectum with warm water. It is not advisable to douche the rectum too regularly.
People are often concerned that anal sex will stretch the anal muscles and cause incontinence. The anal muscles are like all muscles - the more you work them the stronger they get. Anal sex can actually strengthen the anal muscles as long as it is practiced safely.
Stimulation and massage of the prostate for men is beneficial for the health of the prostate gland. Prostate massage has been practiced by Asian cultures for centuries for men's prostate and reproductive health.