D.VICE Sex Q & A. First time fisters what should I expect?Posted by D.VICE Sexpert on
We are new to fisting but I am keen for my husband to fist me.
My husband and I are keen to try fisting, that is him fist me, I can easily take all of his fingers or a large dildo, can you give us some information on technique and what to expect? Posted NZ
D.VICE Sexpert Answer
Fisting is the practice of inserting the whole hand into the vagina and you can also practice anal fisting which is a more of a specialised sexual technique. Fisting is a sexual practise best done with someone that you have a lot of trust with and initially done gradually and very slowly and can be very pleasurable for the recipient. Once you have gained experience you can be more vigorous.
When people think about inserting something really large into the vagina they instantly think about pain, but that’s not what fisting is about at all, it is about being so aroused that you get to the point where you want to have a really full sensation.
Good technique is essential and you always need to use lubricant, that’s an absolute must, you need a lot of lube for fisting. I recommend LubeXXX which is a silicone and water based lube that is hard wearing and slick and less likely to dry out than a full water-based lube.
For partners, when you’re fisting a woman vaginally you don’t actually go in with a closed fist. So what you’re doing is you’re actually entering the vagina in a situation where the vagina is really relaxed, where your partner is highly aroused and where you have already been engaged in lots of sexual activity, so that she is really self-lubricated and really ready for that kind of stimulation.
You may have been experimenting with other forms of stimulation as well, because getting your hand inside her is something you build up to both over time, getting increasingly more of your hand in her and on the actual day you intend ot go the whole way.
What you actually do is insert your lubed fingers actually kind of pointed, so you put them all together, so you’ve got the middle two and then you put your small finger and your index finger on the top of it and so it’s a really good idea to go in with your palm pointing downwards, which is kind of contrary to what you would think.
SO you insert your fingers and then as you’re inserting and you get to the wide point of where the knuckles are, you’re actually going to turn your hand around so you’ve got your thumb tucked around underneath your finger.
Basically you are making your hand as narrow a and long as it can possibly be, and then you’re inserting and as the knuckles are moving in they’re going in a kind of twisting type process, so what you are actually going to end up with is your arm face up and as your fingers move inside the vagina they’re then going to curl up into a fist.
When the knuckles and the really wide part of the hand actually goes through the opening of the vagina then the muscles will actually relax around the fist and there will be a huge amount of tension there, and sometimes, and you often have to go really, really slowly and pause. You can then withdraw a little bit and then the muscles will really contract around your hand and you’ll feel like the whole vagina is just absolutely gripping your hand incredibly tightly.
Sometimes the vagina will go into a slight spasm or there will be like contractions and some women will actually have an orgasm at that time and really, really intense sensation, so when you’re actually inside it’s quite important to not move, especially at the beginning.
So once you’re hand is in, and the vaginal opening is around your wrist, you need to allow those muscles to relax and get used to having something that large in there. Encourage your partner to breathe, make sure that you keep eye contact and keep communication going as well.
Once your hand is in there you can experiment with very slight movements because you don’t need a huge amount of movement at all.
A fantastic sensation with fisting is that it can give you incredibly intense G-Spot stimulation, and if you’re somebody who really enjoys G-Spot stimulation it can just fell like a continued G-Spot orgasm. This can feel absolutely amazing combined it with clitoral stimulation and with oral clitoral stimulation, can be absolutely fantastic.
Withdrawing your hand can be challenging, particularly if she has had an orgasm or a number of orgasms and her muscles have gone through a lot of contractions, a lot of spasm, and they’re really clamping down and holding onto that hand.
You have to allow her muscles to relax, but then you need to go through the reverse, so you’ve gone in, you actually need to withdraw with that same twisting and actually pointing your fingers out and drawing it back down.
You need to communicate with your partner so that she can use her pelvic floor muscles to kind of push you out basically, to kind of expel you, similar to a birthing process, using those pelvic floor muscles, kind of bearing down really and withdrawing with that same kind of twisting process. Feels absolutely fantastic, so I do definitely recommend that you use lots and lots lube, go very slowly and enjoy!